when i was younger, i want to say about 6? it was so long ago i can’t remember and frankly i don’t want to remember most of it there was this guy, maybe about 15? me, my brother, and my brother’s friend (6,7,8 respectively) thought he was so cool and wanted to hang out with him cause his mom was our mom’s friend. he made us pull our pants down if we wanted to play video games, and to my knowledge that’s all he did to my brother and his friend. he would make me sit on his lap and repeatedly ask me if it “felt good” and would move around if i said no so i just said yes to get it over with as soon as i could because i was so uncomfortable. he’d do this a lot to me on multiple occasions. the guy ended up kidnapping an underage girl and running away with her. no jail time. my parents acknowledge what happened but not to the extent i wish they did. i fear men and any form of physical touch now, and the topic disgusts me. i plan to see a therapist in the future.

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023