What are your deepest secrets that you would like to share before you d.i.e?
When I was like 4 or 5, before I started kindergarten, I got molested by my 13 year old neighbor. The thing is I was so young I had 0 clue what was going on but something in me know it wasn't right
I know it happened multiple times but my subconscious has repressed all of that, although I can vividly remember one time. He had me lay on top of his dresser and drop my pants. He asked what the white stuff was, it was baby powder and I told him that. He then started to touch me and I said something along the lines of "don't touch me today" or "no touching". He has locked his door and we hear his mom knock, we knew she didn't hear anything because we had been blasting the show "Phineas and Ferb". I just back j to my pants and sit on his bed and he opens his door when his mom asks what we're doing he says "Nothing much *deadname* really likes this show". She laughs and says have fun.
I pushed this into my subconscious till I was about 8 or 9 without knowing I was doing so. I had a flashback of this when for the first time in my life my mom went and bought a mop and mop soap. I see the mop soap and that came back to me. I remember he was praised at school he was the golden child has the best grades and got accepted into a private elementary school. I always hid from him, I never knew why I just always found him scary.
I remember thinking it was normal in the moment because he didn't have my bits, I thought I was being cool and rebellious. I now have an irrational fear of going into any guys rooms if they have a dark brown dresser and I will NEVER lay down on a dresser in my life even though that happened so long ago it's never left me.
Sorry it's so long.
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