when i was around 10/11 i got groomed and sa’d constantly by my stepbrother. my mom caught him one time and questioned me about it and i didn’t tell her anything bc i thought it was normal. he was 19/20. i didn’t really notice anything was wrong until i woke up with his yk what in between my legs. he was going back and forth but didn’t necessarily go inside. i was too scared to move. it made me so mad bc my mom was right. how could i let this happen? after that i started distancing myself from him. but it kept happening. every night. he even made me kiss him goodnight on the lips. when i refused he’d get aggressive. i’ve always been scared of him. i got really depressed and suicidal. i started sh. my parents found out and questioned me. i couldn’t tell them. but they forced me to talk just for them to say it’s all my fault and i should’ve spoke up when my mom asked me. they ended up not believing me after speaking with him…. they call me a liar now… they constantly use it against me as an excuse to not be able to do things. “you’re gonna get raped again” “no one’s gonna believe you” i also refused to go to the police because he no longer lived with us and i was scared. i regret it everyday….

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023