When I was about 13 my close friend had got heavily addicted to methamphetamine. and would go out for days staying out on the street with the other addicts our age and older. I knew how dangerous it was out there especially for her to be a underage female out on the street and I knew there was nothing I could say to stop her. So every night she was out sleeping on the street I would too, duck, dodge and out run the police with her, when she didn’t have enough money to buy I would help and we could scrimp up every penny we could, we’d go around in stolen cars and stay in abandoned houses, crash at a strangers place. For about a year I helped feed her addiction, and I watched it eat and take over her. Change her into a different person. Im fortunate enough to not have gotten addicted to such a thing, but there’s been times I’ve slipped up and if it wasn’t for my friend I would’ve done. When she first got sober it was hard to quit hanging around the streets. I stayed around a bit longer than she did. She would tell our old friends if they ever seen me out in on the street take me to their house. I can’t help but wonder if I didn’t go to the lengths I did for my friend, than who knows where’d she be right now. Where I’d be..

I always feel like I have no friends. I have two friendsgroups but still I feel like it. I just started 8th grade last year, a new class and a new school, but still the same people. I got in class with 3 of my besties. Were were a group. But only one of them was like my real bestie. Then we met a girl from another school in our class and became friends with her too. But it was most my bestie that got friends with her, also one of the others in the group. My bestie and her started to hangout more often then I could hang out with her. Im jealous. And I know i am. Im jealous of the new girl that stealed my bestie. But she didnt steal her, my "old" bestie left me. But I still have the two other friends in the friend group. We 5 are still a group, but not so much. I also have this other friend group where one of the others from the other group is in too. We are 6 girls. Four of them was really a friend grouo, but then me and the other friend made it in the group. Or atleast I thought I did. (I walk with two of them to school) Today, both said they werent walking home, cause their going to the mall, but I didnt think they were going together. But when I found out all the 5 others in the grouo were going together, i got sad. It felt like they left me out. Im so bad at asking to join too. I feel like that would be disrespectful. I feel like everyone hates ne, and that im annoying to be around. Please help me, i litterly dont know if I can do it anymore.

• July 27, 2023