When I was about 11 my dad took off and ditched me and 2 my brothers, one older one younger. He told us we were worthless and horrible and that he couldn't stand us and he didn't wanna see us ever again. My older brother a few months to 1 year later got hit by a car and died in the street then came back on his own; He ended up with a broken leg in 2 places below the knee, my mom told my father but he never cared or showed up. Just recently my grandpa passed away February 23rd. I'm a highschooler going to graduate next year. And I'm 16 years old with piercings and dad hair. But my dad has no clue. It's ok that he doesn't know anything about my life tho because he was abusive towards my mom when she was pregnant with me And my 2 other brothers of his, hed broke her nose by backhanded her. My dad's wife (my "stepmom") shoved me against the wall while in the shower at age 10/11 or younger because she accused me of not washing my hair, and always tried to control how we dressed and behaved. My dad's family took his side when he left us and they told us how dare we act the way we were.. they would've never accepted the true me anyways. One day I plan to go back to collect my old memories and see my little step brother again. Last I saw him he was 6/7. Is this a bad idea? Should I ever be in contact with my dad again?..

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023