When I was about 1 years old my father and mother got into a huge fight. Being the small person I was I didnt understand for years why he just left. I questioned myself always felt stressed and depressed. I cried every night running to my mother asking her why but all she ever told me was to stfu and get over it. After that I always felt waves of anger towards him, rarely called or talked to him. And the days I would meet him, I couldnt stay mad long cause I knew he felt bad, but the car rides were pretty silent and convos were awkward. But the real problem is I feel like he is stuck in the past still thinking I'm a tiny girl. He would constantly kiss my neck and shoulder when waking me up, he would get all in my face and would slap my bottom. I felt uncomfortable and didnt like it but I dont wanna say anything to my mom or him cause if I do and anyone tells he might not be able to see me again. I am in my late teens now. And every now and then he calls me oftenly and begs me to talk to him and have conversations but I just dont want too anymore. I'm finally over him leaving, now it seems like hes trying to mess me up again. I also dont wanna ignore him cause I fear what if the last time he calls me might actually be his last. I still love him....and I forgive him but how do I say that without him feeling like sh*t even more?

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023