When I was 4, my oldest brother molested me. A few years later when I was 6-8 every now and then my other brother would sexually assault me. I don’t really remember much of my childhood from that time due to that trauma and also the trauma of some abuse by my father. After years(age 12-14) I struggled with depression. No one really understood me when I told them I don’t remember my childhood other than some of the traumatic events. My family was always annoyed with me and that I could only remember a few things. Healing is especially hard because now memories do appear every now and then. I remember that while on a vacation my second brother got drunk and was keeping me in a room and talking s*xually to me and it was pretty scary. I still can’t remember most of my childhood even while still being a child. I still can’t look at my downstairs bathroom, hide and seek, the woods, and older boys in the same way anymore.