When I was 17 after matric while waiting for results December I found out that I was pregnant I did abortion due to my poor background I really wanted to come to varsity because I knew I will get good marks I really thought going to varsity will make me a better person with better tomorrow and since I went to varsity I've changed in a good way honestly I felt good about my decision after some time I started to feel guilty for the whole year got pregnant again had misscarage I wasn't that sad about it because I hated the guy this year 14 February it was my friends birthday party I got very drunk I ended up with him the next day 15th I got my periods then went to my current boyfriend on the 18th February n every weekend ever since I've been spending them with him now I'm a bit confused about the father of my baby but I can't abort my pregnancy I'm also scared that this could be my last chance to have a baby how can I find the exact day I conceived

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023