When I was 16 I found my soulmate. She was beautiful and my heart pumped everytime I looked at her eyes. We've had a relationship for almost 2 years doing whatever we wanted. Running away, sneaking into movie theaters, late night gas station snacks, etc. One day she told me that she was pregnant. I looked at her and told her that NOTHING would make me leave her. She had a toxic family, cocaine, meth, etc mother and drunk abusive father. Her father found out that she got pregnant and she called me saying that she was hitting her mom and her. I rushed over and beat the shit out of her father. We ran away that night. Couple months later and a friend of hers told me that she was on top of a building ledge and looked like she was about to jump off. I rushed over, up countless flights of stairs and when I got to the top I saw her. Crying with a defeated look in her eyes. She said that her dad killed her mother and ran away. By this point she was already 7 months pregnant. She made me promise her a few things and im still trying to keep them. Then she jumped and killed herself and the baby. I still haven't accepted her death to this day and I go to our favorite hangout spots every anniversary day. Its almost been 5 years...

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023