When I was 15 I met one of my cousins at a family function , he was very handsome and I couldn’t look away … I knew I had a lil crush on him the moment I saw him and then finally talked to each other … I started to blush and he noticed everything going on … we both got into the same car as we headed to another family outing and he grabbed my hand and held it the whole drive … ever since then we do that all the time .. fast forward 2 years .. me and him finally ended up staying in the same city … we met up one night at my apartment and a lot of shit went down … 2 weeks later I missed out on my period and it only meant one thing … I went to the doctors to get a check and I was pregnant … I talked to him about it knowing we would get the growling of our lives but we both agreed that abortion is fucked up .. so now we’re having this baby like it or not…

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023