When i was 14 it was late one saturday night and my sister, who had moved off to college about 45 minutes away from home called me. she called me often especially when her and her friends were drinking. nothing bad, but i was tired and had practice the next day and wanted to go to bed so i didn’t answer. she called a total of 7 times which i initially thought was weird but brushed it off as just her being her typical funny self. i went to sleep around 12:30am. at 3:37 on the dot i woke up to my mom crying on the phone with my dad (they’re divorced and have been for years, both remarried). i went to come out of my room and she gestured for me to get dressed so we could leave. my sister had attempted suicide that night, and i was the last person she had tried to call. now, anytime my phone rings, even if i don’t recognize the number, i always pick up. any time of day or night. luckily, she was okay and is doing much better now. hold onto your loved ones. stop the stigma around mental health. be there for them.

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023