When i was 12 years old my dad got cancer and i thought that hes going to be well so when he asked to spend time with him on his last moments i didn't since i just wanted to play games. Then one moring he wasnt feeling well we called ambulanse for him and my dad wanted to tell me something and i sayed he can tell me at the hospital when we go meet him and then we started fighting over some stupid stuff. I wanted to say sorry at the hospital but when we went to visit him he had died hour before we got there. After that the following half year was hardest in my life. I got depression and worst of all i started to sleep very bad and seeing really realistic dreams were my dad was still alive and was saved by some miracle then i always woke up and realized that he wasnt Alive. And that is My biggest recreat not lisening My father and fighting with him before he died.

I regret allowing you to treat me so poorly for so long. I should've stood up for myself and what I wanted more. You were my first real relationship and the first person to make me really feel loved. Walking away from you is so hard. But I don't think that you don't love me the way I need to be loved. You saw me as my potential, and not the flawed human I really am. You had expectations that were so impossible to attain and made disappointing you feel like a cardinal sin. You told me I was the best thing that ever happened to you, but I'm scared that you might have been the worst that ever happened to me. That fear is the only reason I moved on, and I'm learning so much about myself and my needs. I'll never stop loving you, but watching you beg and plead for me to come back to you day after day is killing me. I hate watching you suffer, but I know that if I took you back as you are I'm only going to get hurt, and things won't really change. I've spent the last few years dealing with the bs and I just can't keep on after what you did. I know I have to stay strong and keep up my boundaries. You brought out the absolute worst in me and I never want to be that person again. I just hope our son will one day understand why I walked away, without having to learn this lesson the hard way.

• March 26, 2023