When I was 12 I reached an especially dark point in my life. Feeling regret from experiencing depression when my life could be worse was the most intense thing. One day I was having a relaxed day at home with my two sisters doing their own thing and my parents out away. I decided to get up and take a spoonful of ashwaganda thinking it would put down my anxiety of killing myself. I then started taking a ton of random ass pills from my moms healthy pills in the morning she took. Even if there was a small chance at dying I’d take the risk. Nothing bad just vitamins, b-12, etc. I took at least 11 in total? That’s it. Another time I had a panic attack at night so I went upstairs grabbed a knife and went outside to our outdoor hallway in the pitch black I laid the knife down and laughed liked a psycho. I waited a bit and went back outside to walk back down the hall hoping a killer picked up the knife and would do the job for me but alas the knife was still there and I started crying my eyes out only to act like everything was fine the next morning. The scariest thing that night was my own self. My creepy giggles as I nervously walked down the hall scare me to even now and it gives me goosebumps wondering what my creepy ass face must have looked like to a stranger. But I’m 15 now and back then I was honestly just alone and scared. I’m working as hard as I can now.