TW! ⚠️When i was around 9 years old i went through some traumatic experiences. I got a call from my grandad telling me to come down to help my grandma because she had fallen. She was lying on the dining room floor with foam coming out of her mouth. I had to move the 70 lb dining room table all by myself while also having to rush to call 911 and to call my uncle. In the end she ended up dying. Just recently my grandad who gave me the call died his funeral is on Tuesday so.. i don't really know how to feel because my anxiety has been everywhere the past few days so otherwise i'm still gonna be the family/friend therapist also i wanna go into the air force when i'm older because i feel as if that would give me some reasoning in life because i've always been looked down on by others because i'm short and kinda fat so i'm making it my mission to prove people wrong and i'm also doing it because i want to

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023