*TW* I was 12 when I first hurt myself, I was 13 the first time T (that's what I'm gonna call him) first touched me, I would be in my locker getting something and my hands would be busy, he would come up to me and grab and squeeze my a$$ and b00bs when I would go to push him away we would just walk away, this became a daily thing, he would find me in the halls or outside and put his arm around my waist and shoulders when I would try and walk away he would grab me by the hair, my current " boyfriend" at the time would get mad and push me, we will call him J, he would blame me and push me to the floor and say he could have any other girl he wanted and those other girls he could be with would actually give him some pu$$y. Eventually , J moved and T left me alone because he started dating my best friend at the time, she found out I had hurt myself and made me swear I wouldn't do it again, so I didn't, she then ghosted me. I eventually started dating this guy C, whom I thought was a good person until he started leaving marks and bruising on my arms from squeezing them so hard, I left him after a while as well, I was 14 when I tried to hurt myself again, actually tried, wrote notes and everything, but my family thought that was the first and last time I had ever tried, my dads reaction was him guilt tripping me, lecturing me, accusing me of wanting attention, told me what I did was horrible and I was horrible for doing it, he thought he had "fixed" me by saying that, the next day he made a joke saying " oh I'll put her on birth control, to help with the hormones, because that's all this is" I hadn't hurt myself since because I don't want to hurt other people, I'm currently losing my best friend because I spoke my mind about the self harm jokes she makes and her response was, " its none of your fu¢k!ng business ", I'm now 15 in high school, I don't like being touched, even if its just a hug but I try, and I'm holding on for dear life trying to find a reason to stick around.