throughout my life, i’d be sexually assaulted in little ways then non so i have never been raped (luckily) but i’ve been grabbed, touched, and kissed unconsensually. it really changed my perception in love AND MEN and the realism that most men that will or have came in my life don’t actually love or let alone care about me but just want me for sex. i think social media makes it worse considering how many ppl message me on instagram about me. this only intensified when i got kissed and grabbed by a guy at a party. i was talking to him like normal for 30 mins about my life and his but then he started to act weird and he started to kiss me and i kissed him back but i was wayy too drunk to understand what was going on and i didn’t wanna do this anymore. he grabbed my waist a bunch of times n tried to keep going even grabbed my butt and i was persistent on not doing this anymore. the next day i felt so nasty and i thought it was gonna be some random conversation at a party but knowing his intentions, he wanted to only have sex with me and even though i don’t know him, i just felt. so used. which makes me think even more that men only want me for my body. i really don’t trust any man. at all. i haven’t ever been in a relationship because of assuming i’m only good for my body. i just don’t know how to reverse that mindset and i really wanna do stuff like what other ppl do like go on dates and be cuddling while talking about your life. not just sex this sex that. makes me think i’m not gonna be able to be in a relationship for the fear im going to be used as a sex toy and be dropped for the next man.