This is just stuff I need to get off my chest. I was groomed and molested by my (now ex) best friend when I was 8. My parents are divorced and becoming alcoholics and I blame myself. My sister almost died a year ago and I still blame myself. I keep forgiving someone who betrayed me for the person who groomed me. I miss all my friends from where I used to live but it seems like they dont miss me at all. I'm getting so fucking depressed but I brush it off because I convince myself that I'm being selfish. I need a fucking friend who cares and goes the extra mile for me instead of me putting 100% into relationships in which the other person doesnt try.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023