There's this guy I really like. But the thing is I have no idea why I like him. He's younger then me, I'm into older men. I don't find his looks appealing. But the weird thing is other girls would be like "yeah he's cute I wouldn't date him tho" while I'm like "he's ugly but I'd date him" Me and him had a class together last year I was a sophomore he was a freshman. He was always mean to me but also sweet. Which is why I think I fell for him. He'd do these small acts straight from movies. Which made me fall for him even harder. He's so mean to me but so nice to everyone else, it's so confusing. But then he trash talked me to my friend saying I'm annoying and how he's mean to me so I leave him alone. Which hearing that made me cry so much, to think that him, a guy I loved talking to thought of me that way, it really hurt me. But even so I can't help but forgive him and think he meant it lightheartedly. I truly don't understand anything that goes through his mind. Everyone says he's a dick, that he's no good for me, a goody two shoes. But I just see him as a heavily misunderstood guy, like you have no idea what he could be going through at home. I truly think he has the best intentions. He's a good person, not a nice person. But he doesn't like me he has made it very clear to me. Yet I still can't move on. I don't even have any classes with him this year. Yet he's still the only thing on my mind. I just don't know what to do. I guess I could just suck it up for the next two years until I graduate.

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023