There’s this boy I like in my class. He’s very very smart, funny, caring and loving. He has big dreams for the future, in fact he’s already gotten accepted into his college he’ll be going to this summer and is studying to be a surgeon. Whenever we talk he always makes me smile and never fails to make me laugh or feel comfortable. I’ve hid my crush from him since about last year. There are days where I feel like I want to tell him before I loose the chance to but I feel like I’ve waited too long because we’re already seniors and him focusing on his studies for the college he’ll be going to across state and I feel like we wouldn’t have a chance :/ I hope that him and I will still keep in contact after graduation.

The only thing keeping me alive are my babies. I have two under two years. The older was planned, the younger was not even with bcp and other protection. Regardless, they are both loved and taken care of. I became a sahm because of covid and the past 6 months have been rough. I do all household upkeeping and feel like a single parent. My husband gets up early for work so I put the babies to sleep every night. I also wake up in the night, take care of feedings and bathe the younger one. My husband bathes and sometimes feeds the older baby, washes bottles, and sometimes washes the dishes. Other than providing monetary wise, that's all he does. I have tried expressing how overwhelmed I am, but he doesn't get it. I'm touched out by the end of the day so I'm not affectionate anymore and we barely are intimate. Those are his issues with me. I've asked him to read about hormonal changes in woman during and after birth, including ppd but he doesn't think it's necessary. I thought about dropping the babies to my sister and ending my life. Juggling two babies is so hard for me idk how other mothers do it. I feel like a failure as a mother because I could not breastfeed either one for more than a month (did not produce enough milk) and I get overwhelmed. How do I do this? How do I get more help when the one person who can won't do it?

• June 13, 2023