Thank you, Mom for everything.. even the times you make me regret living, reminding me of my insecurities, keeping me up all night overthinking what'd I do wrong, and stressing me because of school.. I got good grades a line of 90 and all you say is wow congratulations and nothing more but if i get ONE 87 you told me to study more and take my phone and compares me with my own classmates (its not that i'm overeacting and ungrateful of what she said its just not fair.). You said i should be happy but how if i can't be myself with you? but even tho you did all that I still love you..

when i was younger (like 7-12) my dad used to hit my sisters and my mom divorced him. he rarely did it to me but he would emotionally abuse me a lot. like being manipulative and narcissistic. i’ve been to a therapist ordered by the court about it but no one ever takes me seriously because “he never really hit me” it still impacts me a lot and i try not to think about it but when i do it really messes me up. recently my moms boyfriend had asked us to move in with him and my mom said yes. my dad used to move around a lot and so the town that we’re moving to he has lived in. it’s giving me severe ptsd and anxiety and i can’t control it but my mom is telling me to get over it because hes different. well she’s had boyfriends before and they weren’t different. i can’t help feeling guilty like i’m stopping them from being happy but i’m very unsure about it. her boyfriend hasn’t given me a reason to doubt him and he’s really good to me and my younger siblings but i still worth it won’t work out.

• August 4, 2023