So I try to be strong and help my friends no matter what. If they are in pain I do my best to help them out, if they are on the edge of doing something that will hurt them I push them back, if they need advice I give the best advice I can. The problem is I feel lonely. And it's starting to where me down its making it hard to keep them happy when they are sad. I feel like I have nobody to turn to. But I don't want them to feel bad for me or try to help because other then being lonely there is nothing wrong. Well there might be but I'm not going into that right now. All im saying is my secret is I'm fucking dieing inside.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023