So I feel like my bestfriend and my other friend talk shit abt me it hurts thinking that cause I overthink everything and k feel like my mind is js playing tricks and last night I cut myself not js cause this situation other ones too and I’m scared to loose myself I was going 4 months clean and I ruined it and my family keeps on putting pressure on me to forgive my dad but he was abusive and homophobic and I’m bi and he always talks shit so I don’t want him in my life anymore and I’m scared that one day I will unblock him and add him into my like cause I did that once because everyone was telling me that he was my dad and I had to forgive him but idk anymore

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023