One of my friends saw my fresh sh the other day. I feel awful about it. She said she knows that it’s sh and she hasn’t mentioned it since. I feel so alone no matter what and how many people are around. It just hurts. I can’t face it. I just can’t. I’ve tried and it hurts so much. So I don’t. I just let everything pile up and my family all thinks I’m just lazy and selfish. Im just trying to survive but that’s not enough for anyone! I need to do more. Get better grades, do more chores so i have a future. But they don’t get it. I can’t see a future! I can’t see beyond tomorrow. And I’m just trying to get through the day. But that’s never going to be enough. And i started sh a long time ago and I feel like it’s addicting. I will never have a normal life now. If I wear shorts or my sleeves fall up when I raise my hand I am a freak. I will never be normal again. I feel like I am drowning and at first I tried to swim but I don’t see a reason anymore. It’d be so much more peaceful and I just can’t do this anymore I’m so exhausted.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023