One night my mom finally had proof my dad was cheating on her, She cried and my dad called the cops saying she was threatening him with a knife, which ofc wasn’t true. She cut him off and so did my siblings and I. He was mentally abusive and I always had a bad feeling about him. Recently, my mom has been spending time with this guy whom we will call Matthew. My mom has stressed SO many times that “he’s just an old friend and there is nothing romantic.” Which I have a VERY hard time believing for many reasons, such as how she often says to herself things like “Was he flirting with me?” And in there messages he says “he misses her” with a heart and “good morning beautiful” I have trouble trusting Matthew and he gives the exact same feeling my abusive dad did. I feel extremely bad because I don’t want my mom to have to drop him but I also don’t want him as a step father.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023