Not really a secret, more of a huge regret. When I was 10 my grandfather started to get really sick and ended up in the ICU. I remember that ever since I was young I was always super anxious to talk to people on the phone no matter who it was and sometimes I would just outright refuse to talk. So whenever my grandma and grandpa would call from the hospital to talk to me and my sister I would always be super hesitant and my parents would kinda have to push me to talk to them. The day before he passed away, they called and it was one of the days I refused to talk so I didn’t. The next day at school my mom came and picked me and my sister up early and told us he passed away and all I can remember from that day is me beating myself up over the fact that I couldn’t be brave enough to talk to him one last time and tell him that I loved him. If I could go back in time and change it I would.

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023