Not being able to stand up for myself when i was younger. My dad abused me up until sophomore year of hs. I told my elementary school teacher and they just brushed it off. I was suicidal all throughout hs and both the hs and my parents brushed it off and even threatened me w a knife. Fast forward dec 2021, i tried to commit. My parents thought i was attention seeking. Feb 15, 2022- i asked my dr for anti depressants and anxiety meds— my mom is still degrading my mental health and told me to not take the meds— I’m 23. What do i do.

I was at home with my family, (mom, dad and little sister) and we were talking around the table. My dad spoke up and he said “Girls, I just signed us up and payed for a weekend at family camp!” My little sister and I looked at each-other and we groaned. “Why do we have to go to that?” My dad kind of had a hurt look on his face and he said “To spend time with family and to enjoy those around us. I thought you wanted to go.” I replied, “Dad, none of my friends are going. Do we have to go? I hate playing the family games and everything is boring.” So we ended up going to the camp, my little sister and I didn’t have a great time and we complained about it a lot while we were there. Looking back, I feel really bad about complaining. My dad only wanted to have a good time with us, and I couldn’t see the bright side. I still feel regret to this day for complaining. My dad probably doesn’t even remember it but I do and it makes me sad and angry at myself for grumbling. Him and I have a great relationship, but it still pains me to think about how ungrateful I was during that time. I was a spoiled child and I couldn’t go a second without thinking about myself.

• April 19, 2023