My step dad has emotionally/ mentally abused my mom and I for years. We both suffer from anxiety and depression, so the abuse just escalates things. He tells his friends that we are no good pieces of shit, so no one believes us when we talk about the abuse. Lately I can just feel that I’m about to snap. I would never hurt anyone, but the violent thoughts that have been running through my head are scaring me.

i’m tired. i used to be a straight A student all through middle school. i was a good kid. never argued, had lots of friends, was likable, nice, i loved my life. i’m now a freshman in high school, so i’m not that old. i’m scared to eat, i can’t trust anyone, i’m failing 4 classes, i don’t come out of my room, just lost my best friend, my ex who i still love despises every inch of me. it’s taking a toll on my mental health and i’m just tired of being here. tired of pretending i’m happy just so other people don’t worry about me. i don’t know what to do, how to react. my anxiety is over the roof, to where i can’t even get out of bed. i got diagnosed with being bipolar, which is hard. i just don’t know what to do. i’m trying but i’m so tired. i’m running out of options.

• August 2, 2023