My mother is asking why I only hangout with one person. I am a huge introvert, i am antisocial, i have a hard time trusting people and ive been betrayed by "friends" so many times. She says that she is just manipulating me, only wants me to herself. I am gay. I am in a relationship for almost 5 years with this girl. And my mother does not know I am gay. She is extremely homophobic. The only reason why I have not came out I'd because of my siblings, I do not want her to take them out of my life. She has questioned my sexuality. She asks why do I not have a boyfriend, I'm in my 20s. It gets so hard hearing her make comments. My girlfriend is the most genuine person and the biggest blessing I have in my life. I am terrified of coming out. I sometimes just want to die because of how painful it is to hear my mother say awful things. I don't know what to do anymore. What do I do when life becomes unbearable?

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023