My mom constantly and severely abused me and my sister which ended up with me raising my sister and basically being a mother to my own mom too. One night when I was 14 she attempted to OD while my sister and I were home and when the paramedics came she refused to tell them what she took and I went to her room and grabbed them all the prescriptions she had and told them what drugs she did recreationally on top of that. She didn’t die and the abuse only got worse for years after that, leading to her kicking me out while I was in highschool because I constantly argued with her to protect my sister. She was letting random men move in with us all the time, starving us, etc. and it wasn’t safe for my sister. I regret helping those paramedics.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023