my grandmother got into a car accident once when I was younger and for some reason my brain kept telling me to giggle, go I turned away from my family hoping they wouldn't see. I couldn't control it & to this day I have no idea why I did that or why I couldn't stop. I wasn't happy that she was hurt. Maybe it was anxious laughter ? I really don't know but nobody in my family knows this :')

My home isn’t a safe place anymore. it’s a bad environment and every time i leave school joyously, and enter my house, my mood completely flips into a negative one. everyone in my family always accuses me of who knows what and gets mad at me if i don’t let them control and manipulate me. every weekend i sleep at other peoples houses because i don’t want to be in that house longer then i have to and none of them even know about it. my mom always tells me i should express myself but when i do everyone just gets defensive and aims my accusations towards me as if it makes sense. i don’t know what to do anymore and i need help.

• July 25, 2023