My friend died 2/4/22 I still don’t really believe that he’s dead because it feels like just yesterday I was talking to me him and bothering him in class , I feel like everyone around me just expects me to be okay and act like nothing happened because there okay but I don’t know how to feel some days I’m okay other days I’m sad and then there’s those days that I’m angry at everyone because his mother decided to take him off of life support, and i hate everyone because they can continue with there lives the way they want to because most of them didn’t know him and the ones that did at end okay now they feel better but why do I have to be the only one that’s still in pain why do I have to see his face every time I go to sleep, But I really just wanna know if he was in any pain if he needed or wanted me there by his side before he went and I wasn’t there if he’s okay now. If all the pain and sadness he experienced before I said gone now because I feel like I can’t breathe I don’t really feel anything anymore I’m numb It doesn’t even feel like I’m in control of my body anymore it’s like someone else is controlling it and I’m just there but overall I just wanna know if he needed and if he hates me because I hate myself everyday because of the fact that he like doing me and he wanted to be with me and told him no I should’ve just said yes because idk maybe it would even worked maybe by some chance he would still Be here and all my pain would be gone I would finally feel something again and I don’t know how much longer I can take this I don’t wanna be here anymore and if dying takes the pain away I’m going to because this is too much.