My brother had his friends over when i was like 11 and they were 14-15 always made weird comments on my body well when my brother was getting drinks they offered me a bag of “gummies” at like 10:00 o’clock when i was already tired and i just said thanks and went to my room i threw them away in my room trash about an hour later i heard a knock on my door i pretended to be asleep bc i didn’t want to talk to anyone when my brothers friends came in my brother was asleep they all like silently high fived and cheered they took turns fucking me. They used me as their own sex toy. I just stayed as “asleep” as i could i checked my bathroom trash the morning after a whole container of melatonin gummies and it’s plastic wrap were in the trash. They thought i ate a whole thing of melatonin gummies. I’ve never been the same since lol

I always feel like I have no friends. I have two friendsgroups but still I feel like it. I just started 8th grade last year, a new class and a new school, but still the same people. I got in class with 3 of my besties. Were were a group. But only one of them was like my real bestie. Then we met a girl from another school in our class and became friends with her too. But it was most my bestie that got friends with her, also one of the others in the group. My bestie and her started to hangout more often then I could hang out with her. Im jealous. And I know i am. Im jealous of the new girl that stealed my bestie. But she didnt steal her, my "old" bestie left me. But I still have the two other friends in the friend group. We 5 are still a group, but not so much. I also have this other friend group where one of the others from the other group is in too. We are 6 girls. Four of them was really a friend grouo, but then me and the other friend made it in the group. Or atleast I thought I did. (I walk with two of them to school) Today, both said they werent walking home, cause their going to the mall, but I didnt think they were going together. But when I found out all the 5 others in the grouo were going together, i got sad. It felt like they left me out. Im so bad at asking to join too. I feel like that would be disrespectful. I feel like everyone hates ne, and that im annoying to be around. Please help me, i litterly dont know if I can do it anymore.

• July 27, 2023