my brother had a girlfriend. i was close to her and we would play video games 24/7 . eventually i caught feelings for her but never told her because that was my brothers girlfriend. I had to stop talking to her because my brother found out i liked her and ever since we haven’t talked. i miss her a lot and after almost 2 years , still like her. She broke up with my brother and later texted me that she missed playing with me too, but then unadded me. Idk if she likes me or not

I have a lot of regrets. But I guess the biggest one I got is choosing to be alone. I’ve been hurt a lot, my trust thrown away from people who I thought would always be there for me. I never had a girlfriend or really any friends at all. I’m an outcast and it’s hard when most of the people you know in your high school put a label on you and that’s what your known for. I get I’m not the easiest to get along with and that I can be annoying and a sarcastic pr*ck but at least I try. But I’m just tired of seeing people be fake and tired of being used or manipulated just so someone else can be happy. So now whenever I feel like I’m getting close to someone I just start acting like an absolute douche. It’s not that I want to, it’s just that I’m scared. I hate being lonely and alone but if that’s what I gotta do to survive than screw, I may not like it but at least I’m still here.

• December 29, 2022