My biggest regret is ever telling my mom bout her husband SAing and Raping me since I was 10. Ima leave out all the details but these past few months been so hard. And sometimes i regret doing the things I did. But every time I think that, I know that if I never did open my mouth bout the situation that it would’ve kept happening and she wouldn’t have noticed ever. I don’t hate my mother. I just wish things were different. I wish that she could’ve understood me. Now I haven’t seen her nor talked to her since.

In my 20 years of life, I never even thought that where I am is where I would've bren when growing up. I used to be an extrovert, made friends every where I went, then when I was 10 I met someone. She was different from all the rest, she stood out from everyone. We had a beautiful friendship with each other then I found out she was Transgender (MtF), but that didnt stop us from being friends. When she moved here, everyone bullied her for being different and no matter how hard I tried to defend her, it kept going on. It got so bad that one day she killed herself by overdosing... She left a letter for me and her parents...I regret that I never talked about it to someone, I kept those emotions locked away and it changed me. I became closed off and depressed for many years w/ 3 suicide attempts. Now I live the life of an introvert, I don't talk to anyone, hang out with anyone. All the dating I did never lasted more than a few days. DON'T HIDE YOUR EMOTIONS. DON'T LET THE STRUGGLE OF SOMETHING DESTROY WHO YOU ARE. YOU CAN RISE THROUGH IT.

• July 7, 2023