Lately I’ve been having the fear of growing up. When covid started I was 13 and now I’m turning 16 in about 13 days and I don’t like the thought of it. I’m becoming a junior soon and it freaks me out . Even though I still have two years until high school ends I keep thinking about the future, college me having to move away or grow up to have responsibilities. I feel like my 13 year old self stuck in my 16 self. I never had my 8th grade graduation so it never really processed my mind that I went to high school. My high school experience has went by in a flash because I was online for my freshman year and sophomore year I am in school but it’s more like mask and sanitizer distancing online all together and I can’t really feel the whole experience because we have a lot of rules. I’ve been getting anxiety and stress because of growing up, feeling sick to my stomach, throwing up the time, shaking, not wanting to eat. Even the thought of my birthday scares me and I keep thinking that when I grow up my parents gets older and I can’t lose my mom. I always worry all the time that something bad is going to happen. I’ve been getting better recently but I still get those days where I just wanna cry. I have been getting thoughts where I just wanted to end it but I’m scared of death. I can’t physically hurt myself. Help I don’t know what to do. :( it’s too much. There is soo much I want to say and spill but I already wrote a lot.