in my junior year of high school, my mental health hit rock bottom from anxiety and i became extremely su|cid@l. my father was awful and threatened to do horrible things to me that only made it worse and said if my mother died from a heart attack it would be my fault. my mother was kind to me and cared for me on the other hand. a few months after this episode happened when i was looking through my fathers phone (i didn't have my own at the time and my mother needed to send me something) i saw all the awful stuff my mother said about me. said i was faking it all for attention and we shouldn't give into my "childish" behavior. I fell right back into the pit and almost committed again. i never told her i saw any of this. after a week and a failed attempt, i refused to give into my parents. i would always tell myself "tomorrow will be better, it gets better." it's been almost four years now and while my mental health isn't perfect, i can't help but cry with joy at how far i've come. i finally made it to my tomorrow and my parents can eat sh/t for all i care <33 best advice i can give: hope; it's the best thing to keep by your side when everyone else fails you.

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023