In my 16 years of life, the biggest regret I ever had is discovering pornography at the age of 8. I am broken. I touched my cousin while she was sleeping because I was tempted to do so. I eventually got caught by my family, but they didn’t say anything. I started overthinking which eventually led me to depression, disappointment,insecure, sensitive and anti social. I masturbated twice every single day. I thought I would stop one day but I guess I got addicted without realizing it. moral of the story. STOP WATCHING PORN, START WORKING ON YOURSELF AND FIGHT THE URGE BECAUSE THE PLEASURE IS NOT WORTH IT.

A few things: 1. I wish I told him I loved him, but it’s okay, he looks happier now. Someone was able to give him, to show him, and to reciprocate the love he had to offer, and I wasn’t brave enough to be that someone. But it’s okay, at least I was able to be a chapter in her life, right? 2. I wish I was more open about my feelings to my parents, but that’s okay, at least what I’m doing right now is making them happy and proud. 3. I wish that I could’ve send yes to every girls night out with my friends, but it’s okay, it wasn’t like my absence greatly affected their nights. But it’s getting tiring. Why can’t I be selfish for once? Is it too much to ask for to be a person’s whole book, not just their chapter? Is it too much to ask for to be careless? But how can I? Since day 1, everybody’s eyes were on me. Then 1 wish, just 1, that’s enough for me. I wish I could stop invalidating my own feelings.

• April 19, 2023