in 2018, it was the first week of summer break and i stayed with my cousins. i was 15 at the time and so was my cousin who im about to talk about. it was my family of four cousins 1 girl, three boys S, K, G, J. Cousin S was doing math work in the living room with her mom and i went into K and G room cause i was bored. i got into K bed cause G was playing games and listening to music with his friends online and i just watched youtube videos with K. I fell asleep and at the time i thought it was a dream but it wasn’t. my own cousin K had his d*ck in my mouth. i managed to pinch myself to see if it was actually happening. i felt so disgusted, i was so scared to say anything and i knew if i screamed or something my aunt would have hurt me and so i made it seem like i was still asleep but i turned away but he tried to turn me around and was rubbing on my downstairs. but i just acted like i woke up and hurried out. i went into the bathroom and cried. i felt so nasty and ashamed. the next day i ended up in the hospital for having a severe anxiety attack that caused me to stop breathing. i broke down to my mom when she asked me “what’s wrong baby” even i had the intentions of keeping it a secret. the hospital was planning to send me to a mental hospital due to self harm scars and past unalive attempts. mom made me tell the social worker, then police got involved. the officer who spoke to me in the hospital believed me i was thankful for him i felt safe. i had to go to an interview at the police station but was not believed and was told that they felt sorry for my cousin and that i was crazy and needed serious help. my family believed me until my aunt called making up lies and threatened to sue me and after that my family stopped believing me and told me it was my fault that the family is breaking up. i hate myself for it. i constantly feel like it’s my fault and i regret going to the room. i’m 17 now and it still haunts me to this day. should have i kept quiet?