i’m not really sure if i binge eat or anything but i don’t want to seem like i’m overreacting or self diagnosing so i’ve never told anyone about it. every night i get 3-5 things and eat them and i can’t not do it but i feel like it’s making me fat and i feel so sick after doing it. i want to stop but when it’s night time it’s too tempting, but i feel like no one will believe me and i don’t even know if i binge eating and i don’t want to make people annoyed by telling them about it. all of my friends have perfect bodies and they always say they’re “super bloated” and “so pregnant” and i compare myself to them and they have abs and PERFECT PERFECT bodies and say they’re fat and i tell them they’re not and i feel so guilty about eating at night and at lunch and in the morning but i can’t not and i feel like i shouldnt be and i want to stop eating entirely. i also feel guilty about telling someone about it because they won’t believe me because i eat every meal. i don’t know if i’m being unhealthy or not :(

I always feel like I have no friends. I have two friendsgroups but still I feel like it. I just started 8th grade last year, a new class and a new school, but still the same people. I got in class with 3 of my besties. Were were a group. But only one of them was like my real bestie. Then we met a girl from another school in our class and became friends with her too. But it was most my bestie that got friends with her, also one of the others in the group. My bestie and her started to hangout more often then I could hang out with her. Im jealous. And I know i am. Im jealous of the new girl that stealed my bestie. But she didnt steal her, my "old" bestie left me. But I still have the two other friends in the friend group. We 5 are still a group, but not so much. I also have this other friend group where one of the others from the other group is in too. We are 6 girls. Four of them was really a friend grouo, but then me and the other friend made it in the group. Or atleast I thought I did. (I walk with two of them to school) Today, both said they werent walking home, cause their going to the mall, but I didnt think they were going together. But when I found out all the 5 others in the grouo were going together, i got sad. It felt like they left me out. Im so bad at asking to join too. I feel like that would be disrespectful. I feel like everyone hates ne, and that im annoying to be around. Please help me, i litterly dont know if I can do it anymore.

• July 27, 2023