I’m in love with my best friend. He’s so sweet to me, funny, he’s had my back since we were kids. I would do anything for him. I’m engaged to a decent guy (I’m a guy too) but my best friend has my heart. He’s straight but I feel he’s at least bi because we’ve had special intimate moments that I’ll never forget but I’ve never told a soul. He knows I’m in love with him and still treats me so amazingly. I feel like he has feelings for me but is so scared of getting ridiculed by others. I love my mate but I really feel like I’d leave them for my best friend if he ever confirmed his feelings for me. I wouldn’t want to hurt him but my best friend has stolen my heart. Does this make me a terrible person?

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023