I’m completely fine with the concept of dying, my brother has threatened to kill me dozens of times and I’ve accepted the fact at this point that if I’m going to die I’m fine with it I’ve lived a good enough life for the 16 years I’ve been alive, I'm not depressed or suicidal I’ve just accepted death

Last year I suffered from depression I think. Can you guys tell me if it was. After my mom passed away in February. I went into a dark place. I was in 7th grade but now I’m in 8th. When I would go to school I would not pay attention but before I had straight A’s. so after about a month I had about 30 missing assignments. I would go home and take 2-3 hour naps because I was just really sad. I didn’t want to die or had suicide thoughts but I didn’t want to be awake because if I was the entire time I was just really sad. I would lay in my bad thinking about how I could not stand to be so sad. And I would just sit their in silence for hours if I could not go asleep at night. I lost so many interest in things I used to do. Like playing video games, so after my mom passed I just got really bored of that and I never wanted to do anything I used to like to do. It took me about 5 or 6 months until I started to play video games and believe me when I say this I love playing video games so even for me was a surprise that I went so long without doing that. Even when I had 8 hours of sleep the entire day I was just so exhausted. I have never felt anything like that before and I am fine now. Every now and then I get a little sad but nothing like I have ever experienced before when my mom passed. I don’t tell anyone because I’m just not open, but for my dad and my other sister who still live with me. My dad talks about depression and my sister talks about how she has some anxiety. And I don’t want to sound like the victim but I don’t they have experienced the sadness I have when my mom passed because frankly I have thought about what If I were to die and I now understand why people commit suicide.

• February 12, 2023