I’m absolutely in love with a boy a year older than me. I have no chance with him even though we’ve hooked up in the past. I’m not pretty enough for him and I guess I’m just not enough for him anymore. I’d do anything to be with him. I let him talk to me about other girls he’s into, including my best friend, just to make him happy. I let him wake me up at 2 AM to rant because it makes me feel useful, he hasn’t done it in a while and I miss it so much. He’s so hot and cold with me and it hurts so badly, one minute he’s into me, the next he wants nothing to do with me. I know he doesn’t treat me great, but I just need to say that I love him and would do anything for him. I wish he would just understand that. He has so many flaws yet in my eyes he’s absolute perfection. Please let him see what he once saw in me again, even if it’s only lust.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023