im 15. my mother has been with my step-dad about 8yrs now and my mom has 2 kids, me and my sister and my step-dad has 2 kids, my step-brother and sister. and my stepbrother has been constantly doing things on purpose that my mom is tired of she has been holding his shit for soooooo long its to the point where my parents are thinking about divorce and my step-siblings dont care they say they cant do anything about it and then my mom grounds them when they talk 2 her with an attitude and they tell her dad exaggerating things that make her look crazy and its to the point that im being stressed out.

My parents split up in August of 2018. I was so mad at him for everything he did to me and my family, including my mom. He chose hard drugs, and to cheat on my mom with her childhood bestfriend. I texted him once in a while, because I was 15 and I wanted to make sure my dad knew I didn’t hate him. Then I cut off contact with him after seeing him again in December and hugging him for the last time. I was never able to see him. In March 2021, (my room was right beside the front door) I took a nap at 6pm and woke up at 8pm, to the front door being opened and my mom talking at the door, my grandma was crying and my siblings were upstairs. I was so confused and my grandma comforted me while crying, I asked her if my dad was dead. She said “yes my girl.. he killed himself..” I was in shock at first and I let out the most blood curdling cry. I regret not talking to him. I believe that it’s my fault he’s dead, because I didn’t talk to him. I have the last message he sent to me, and I read it almost every day. I wish I could have done something to save him. Maybe I could have stopped him.

• August 5, 2023