I(female)was molested and forced to do things to my oldest brother from ages around 7 to 10( he was 14 to 17) . I never knew those things were bad around that age and would just go with what he wanted me to do, he never fully raped me but did try once but it didn't work so he didn't try again. He would tell me to stay awake at night until every one was sleeping then he will come to me and we did things nd it happened like that few times but then I didn't want to anymore so I actually went to sleep and he got really made at me the next day, I was pretty scared of him so i just went along with it. I only knew it was bad when I asked my mom one day if he would go to jail if him and I ever did stuff and she said yes so I stopped it completely. Just picturing it in my head what i did its so disgusting i want to scream...I've now just turned 17 and I still think about it sometimes like? How did he think it was okay to do that, he wasn't that young he knew exactly what he was doing, fking creep. Now we just act like nothing happened but We also just don't talk much anymore.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023