I was home with my sister and my parents .My parents said they wanted to just go hang out on a date (to be fair I was really sad that day and stressing out ,so I was kinda being a little disrespectful and talking back )Ounce they left it was just me and my sister .We we’re getting worried because they said that they were just going out to eat .But hours and hours past by wondering if we should be worried .Hearing a knock on my door checking my cameras noticing it was a cop .I opened the door to hear my mom and dad got into a car accident and saying they didn’t make it .My last words in my head was “I Fucking hate them”Reflecting on that and hearing those words was deviateing loosing both of parents .And now saying I love you to everyone he leaves the house .

i really dislike whenever my parents compare me to my other siblings. it’s always “try harder. they get much better grades than you and what do you do? stay on your phone all day.” the thing is, no matter how much i tell them that i actually try hard and study every night, they never believe me. even my own siblings, they see my studying in my room but end up ganging on me with my parents. it’s like my parents don’t even have faith and belief in their daughter anymore. it’s like my own siblings don’t see me as their sister anymore. i really do try my best when it comes to studying. i really do. no matter how hard it is, i take my time out and study, but my family never seems to understand or agree with what i do. even my friends betray me. believe it or not, i have no friends. no one even checks up on me anymore and life is so boring now. i’ve never felt so lonely and so… upset. i cry every night knowing no one cares about me. there are times where i just wanna end it. what’s the point of being alive if no one even cares? no one ever supports me anymore. the smile of me 5 years ago is not the smile i have right now. all i get is blamed at, body shamed at and yelled at.

• August 6, 2023