I was going to kill myself by overdosing when I was 14, I decided to take 8 different pills with kinda high dosages before school. All day I was losing feeling in my legs and could feel my throat closing up, I got home and we went to get diner, later when I was in bed I kept throwing up and my heart started beating really fast if I moved my arm. I took a minute to say a thought that had taken a while to form: I messed up. I wouldn't let myself fall asleep in the fear I would die. I lied and told everyone that I was just worried about my friend.(different story I won't get into because its their story) To this day no one knows.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023