I was 17. I had snuck out a couple days before over Thanksgiving break so my mom took my phone. A couple days later my older brother and his then ex girlfriend came over and were drinking. he came into my room and kept hugging me wnd I didn't think anything of it till I took him to the store to get more beer and he just kept touching my legs and side while I was driving. asking me when I turned 18. who I was with. if I had sex. he touched my face telling me he'd always love me and then grabbed a handful of my hair forcing me to kiss him. I made my parents babysit. he came into my room later that night and forced me to touch him and then proceeded to rape me. my older brother. who I cried to about my first heartbreak. he's 10 years older than me. so he watched me grow up and he still raped me. I haven't touched the clothes i wore since those were my favorite sleep pants and hoodie. and i made my brother trade rooms with me. my parents know but never helped and instead told me it was my fault.

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023