i want to die I guess to most people it looks like I’m a really happy person. I didn’t think I’d get through middle school I started becoming suicidal in the 6th grade and it got better the summer before I started high school but now it’s worse. Worse than before I dont know what I want in my life and I feel like there truly is not point to anything if we’re all going to die anyways no matter what and on some days that is the only thing that keeps me going that someday it’s all gonna end so I don’t have to do it myself. People think I’m super extroverted and I do talk to a lot of people but only so that it doesn’t make me feel alone and I play a lot of sports but only for the pain when we have to run or during games that adrenaline makes me so happy. I used to be the golden child of my family now I’m the black sheep nothing matters to me anymore I started vaping and failing school everything’s falling apart and I don’t care enough to try to fix it. I just want it all to end already