I want every memory of myself to be erased. I have caused so much pain to myself and everyone who is around me. I want to be thrown into a river. I want all my pictures deleted. i need them to forget me. All I have ever done for them is mess things up and it pains me to know that I am such a burden on my friends and family. I feel useless, stupid, ugly, and like a disappointment. No one really believed me until now. I wish I would have gotten help earlier but things happen and now I am like this. Ranting to random people on the internet. To my siblings and lovers, I really do love yall. You don't know it’s me but just know, I love you.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023