I used to SH. I started because 2 girls did at my school and I tried it. It was a good stress reliever at the time but it quickly became brutal. I wanted to stop but it was like I had to do it to survive. If I stopped I felt like my world was collapsing. I was addicted. My friend saw my scars. She asked me about them. I lied. Straight up. I said she was being dramatic and paranoid. I never told anybody how addicted I was to SH. I am not anymore but it took 2 years and I honestly do not know how I survived.

i’m tired. i used to be a straight A student all through middle school. i was a good kid. never argued, had lots of friends, was likable, nice, i loved my life. i’m now a freshman in high school, so i’m not that old. i’m scared to eat, i can’t trust anyone, i’m failing 4 classes, i don’t come out of my room, just lost my best friend, my ex who i still love despises every inch of me. it’s taking a toll on my mental health and i’m just tired of being here. tired of pretending i’m happy just so other people don’t worry about me. i don’t know what to do, how to react. my anxiety is over the roof, to where i can’t even get out of bed. i got diagnosed with being bipolar, which is hard. i just don’t know what to do. i’m trying but i’m so tired. i’m running out of options.

• August 2, 2023